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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Day by Day

This morning, I went into Julian's room to find him sitting next to his heater vent with his music box. He looked at me and said "I have boogers". Oh, what an absolute joy he is. He is 3 years and 7 months now. He is long and gorgeous....goes potty in the toilet standing up, if prompted with an oreo. When I retold this story to Jonathan this morning, he told me of the morning Julian crawled into bed while he was sleeping, snuggled right up to his face, looked into his eyes and proclaimed "I'm wet".

So, I will be going to the Woodside Priory School in July. I have some natural anxieties that seem to be clouding my joy a bit. I wish I could just relax and bask in the glory of this new turn in my life. The potential for real job happiness is within reach. I will be in an environment of intelligence, kindness, compassion, purpose and productivity. My faith will now have an everyday source and outlet. This was devinely maneuvered - of that I have no doubt.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Moments of clarity

I am very intelligent and yet I let my emotions lead me in making choices. I always have. I have made serious choices from an emotional place and conventional wisdom would label these misteps. But I am who I am and I own it with and without doubt.

I will strive to stop putting off life until things "settle down". I long to embrace every day for what it is and to enjoy and feel the beauty in every day. "Life is what happens while you're making other plans" has always been very poignant to me. I know I am guilty of this and I consider it's practice a great sin. My life is blessed.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I love my boys

They are my heart and soul. They keep me going when my tendency toward the maudlin and self absorption get the best of me. They fill me with joy when my heart is glad. I am so grateful for them.

Today, I listened while they played together in another part of the house. There is no better feeling than the knowledge that those you would step in front of a train for are happy and light. Before I put on my coat to leave for work, Julian announced that he was ready to go! He was wearing his footed lavender pajamas. When we discovered that the TV was not working properly, I mused as I listened to Jonathan lovingly explain to Julian that he would have to watch Caillou on the computer instead. He was holding Julian as he cried and he was almost whispering the bad news to him so lovingly. It was marvelous.

I love my boys.